The pain of childhood sexual abuse, is immense pain to deal with. All of us can understand that but at the same time we need to look within and check that why this happens? Are we not responsible because somewhere we are not able to inculcate proper values and awareness in young boys and girls?
The childhood sexual abuse impacts the child’s psyche to a great extent and it is very painful to deal with such issues and you can see the repercussion of that event on the entire life of the child. In some cases, the consequence is so traumatic that it doesn’t allow the children to be comfortable with their own bodies and sexual energy. Its complete rejection of self at all levels. And also, the sexual orientation of the child changes and this is applicable for both boys and girls.
In one of such cases, where the girl child went through the abuse in her childhood, couldn’t share it with anyone, and there was lack of education from the parents. At the same time, mother’s behavior which was not at all cooperative, this filled her with guilt. That guilt started growing inside. She was never comfortable with her own body. After getting married it became worst as she was unable to surrender in intimate relationship with her husband. This act of love making was a punishment for her and she felt as if it is like going through the act of rape and not love. For her, it was an experience of hell. Gradually she started making excuses to avoid it which left the relationship strained. Lack of love, anger, irritation was the base of relationship. Gradually it created so many gaps that it compelled them to think about divorce. Children were being affected badly by all these. Bitterness and anger in children was also quite visible.
When she turned up for healing she was in a state of panic. Within 2 sessions of healing she was free of her baggage of her childhood trauma and then she was empowered with techniques to retain the state of calmness. Intimate relationship with husband has improved which she never ever experienced in her life. Love and bonding between them is growing. Children are also free of the baggage of their mother. There is a sudden change in her husband’s attitude. Now he is much more compassionate and caring. She is in a state of and gratitude.
We feel that children should be properly trained to handle any kind of abuse and parental and environmental support system needs to be created. And it can happen only though family. The child is much more important than so called “respect in society” and “what will people say” aspects, which stop us from taking any action or speaking our mind. Support your child unconditionally as he/she needs it the most.
(Picture courtesy – Payal Sharma)